During high school, your teen didn’t have to think much about how to make friends. Friendships developed naturally out of middle school connections, and with any luck they flourished in the classrooms and activities that were regular parts of the high school experience. But after high school graduation, lifelong friends start to go separate ways. It’s at this point that your child (whether a quiet introvert or a people-focused extrovert) may start wondering—with some nervousness—about how to make friends at college.
Fortunately, technology can empower your kid to start forming on-campus social connections weeks before arriving on campus.
6 strategies for students wondering how to make friends on campus:
1. Connect with your roommate weeks before college starts.
During the summer before dorm move-in day, the college housing office will usually provide you your future roommate’s name, phone number, and email address. Reach out, introduce yourself, find each other on social media, and start talking about your room. Who will bring the dorm refrigerator? Who will bring the microwave? Is one waste basket enough or do you need two? Get to know this person a little bit ahead of time, and you’ll lay foundation for what could end up being a lifelong friendship.
2. Ask your new room-mate if he or she knows anyone else who’ll be on campus this coming year.
Reach out, say hello, and get to know that person as well.
3. Connect with older students from your area who are already students at your college.
Your high school guidance counselor may know of students who’ve already put in a year or more at your future college. Reach out and ask a few questions. The student you reach out to may be very helpful, answering your questions and eventually introducing you to a whole network of current college students you might never meet otherwise.
4. Attend a regional meet-up.
If your college offers regional meet-ups for new students—go! A regional meet-up is a great way to make new friends before college starts. (And who knows, you may find someone to share gas costs when it’s time to travel home for weekends or school breaks.)
5. Participate in your college’s orientation.
If new student orientation is voluntary, plan to attend and participate wholeheartedly. You’ll not only get useful information about the college, you’ll also meet many students who are as new to campus as you are.
6. Early in the summer before you move to campus, ask your college admissions office this question: “Do you have a program where brand new freshman are trained to orient other new freshmen to campus?”
If you’re one of these specially-trained freshman student leaders that conducts the program that welcomes other new freshmen to campus, you’ll give yourself 4 powerful advantages:
A) You’ll move into student housing earlier than most other students do. When hallways and cafeterias are less crowded, it’s easier to strike up conversations. One way to introduce yourself is to say, “Hi, I’m Yolanda. Why did you get to move in so early?” (It might be for athletic practice, or for some reason other than being in the same leadership program as you.)
B) Your training for this program will give you a chance to meet other “go–getter–mover–and–shaker” freshman student leaders—in a small group setting where you’re working on a big project together. These are the kind of people you want to be friends with if you’re planning to have a great life.
C) You’ll be immediately branded as an enthusiastic campus leader, and this can lead to other opportunities for you in the future.
D) It will be great to have your participation in this program on your LinkedIn profile and on your resume. It’s always helpful to have the word “leadership” associated with you!
If you’d like to see an example of this kind of leadership program, here’s one—at the University of Wisconsin Whitewater, where it’s called “uLead.”
Remember, if you’re wondering how to make friends on campus, other people are too.
Be the friend everyone hopes they’ll meet when they get there.
For more information on what to do during the summer before dorm move-in day, see pages 303–325 of my book:
Important—> It’s a reference book, so nobody reads the whole thing cover to cover. Pick out what you need to read in it using the fast-paced, 10-minute video instructions here.
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You can see why financial advising professionals love LAUNCH, here.
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Read just one chapter of LAUNCH every 1–3 months while your child’s in middle school and high school, and you’ll know every viable strategy for debt-free college at exactly the right time to implement it.
And if your child’s already well past middle school? That’s OK; you can run to catch up. But the process of getting your kids through college debt-free goes more smoothly the earlier you start it—especially if you’re not planning to save up any money to pay for college.
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Who is Jeannie Burlowski?
Jeannie is a full-time academic strategist, podcast host, and sought-after speaker for students ages 12–26, their parents, and the professionals who serve them. Her writing, speaking, and podcasting help parents set their kids up to graduate college debt-free, ready to jump directly into careers they excel at and love. Her work has been featured in publications such as The Huffington Post, USA Today, Parents Magazine, and US News & World Report, and on CBS News.
Jeannie also helps students apply to law, medical, business, and grad school at her website GetIntoMedSchool.com. You can follow her on Bluesky @jburlowski.bsky.social.
No part of this article was written using AI.
This article was updated on April 25th, 2024.