Dr. Charles Fay of LoveandLogic.com is an expert at helping parents grow a teen’s brain by leaps and bounds—while helping adults enjoy a less stressful, more fun family life.
Dr. Fay recently said this on the subject of growing a teen’s brain:
“At Love and Logic®, we believe that kids are best prepared for the real world when we allow them to do as much thinking as possible. It’s good practice for the real world, and it keeps the monkey off of our backs most of the time. Here’s the problem. Do you know kids who like to keep adults doing all of the thinking? Do you know kids who are good at tricking us into doing so?”
One strategy for staying out of this trap is to use plenty of questions.
“The more questions we ask,” Dr. Fay says, “the better thinkers our kids will become.”
Why does this strategy work for growing a teen’s brain?
The human brain naturally seeks closure. When we ask a lot of sincere, good-hearted questions with genuine interest and empathy, it’s like we flip a switch in a teen’s brain that keeps him or her groping through possible answers. Sometimes for long after we’ve left the room.
Dr. Fay says that if we do this, our teen’s brain will have “less energy left over for power-struggles.”
Exactly what tired parents long to hear.
If you’re looking for ways to grow your teen’s brain while doing a lot less mental heavy lifting yourself, try using variations on these great Dr. Charles Fay questions:
- “I don’t know. What do you think?”
- “Are you sure that’s the best idea?”
- “How do you think that’s going to work out for you?”
- “Would you like to hear what some other kids have tried?”
- “Do you think that’s going to work out well or ________?”
- “What do you think you are going to do?”
- “Which one of these is the best solution to your problem?”
- “Do you have enough money to pay for any possible damage?”
- “Is that a wise decision?”
Your teen may pretend not to listen to these questions, but don’t worry. The gears are turning more than you’ll ever know.
Would you like additional tools for skyrocketing the growth of your teen’s brain, while dialing back the stress in your own life?
I, Jeannie Burlowski, love Love and Logic®.
The book Parenting Teens with Love and Logic is on my current list of favorite books to give as gifts. See what other books made my list of top picks.
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Remember, accelerating a teen’s brain growth is just one part of getting him or her ready to launch after high school.
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Who is Jeannie Burlowski?
Jeannie is a full-time academic strategist, podcast host, and sought-after speaker for students ages 12–26, their parents, and the professionals who serve them. Her writing, speaking, and podcasting help parents set their kids up to graduate college debt-free, ready to jump directly into careers they excel at and love. Her work has been featured in publications such as The Huffington Post, USA Today, Parents Magazine, and US News and World Report, and on CBS News.